Saturday, May 8

I'm breathing colors. In: purple, out: hazy grays.
This scene is a gift, wrapped in glitter and bright lights,
pristine and whole in its ingenuity. From outside, windows from wall to ceiling
frame it, as if it were art.
Step inside and know, feel history has taken place here.
Delicate brocade runs up the walls to meet with the twilight,
where the mesh and fold into one another.
Follow the spidering maps in the wood grain in any direction
and surely you'll uncover a secret.
North to the dining room table, all cherry wood and stark indifference
to meet the plays of lust and dirty lies that have surely occurred
inches over its surface. Look there now, see them hover?
East will take a wobbling guest, buoyant with bubbly,
to the residency's flower beds, pretentious in their simplicity
amongst such lavish settings. Keep watch for the snakes.
South. South goes up and up and up in a corkscrew of wrought iron
and silver then dies out upon reaching its vanishing point.
Those steps take you nowhere.
Once you leave the stars behind you beg the shadows to claim you.
And they live here. Under carpets etched with gold,
and tinkling fixtures fashioned of frozen constellations, they do exist.
Go west and forget these creatures.
West lies a door and a mirror, the latter appearing to slither
and bend in upon itself as you peer in, distorted.
Behind you, the party plays out and each guest is a dancer,
a puppet, bobbing to and fro,
not caring if their tipping point is reached
because they know the walls will catch them.
These walls, these glorious, innocent walls that have beared witness
to more than they ever intended.
The whispers might never hope to escape
and become echoes with them standing guard.
These titans, monolithic sheets of paper, really, sag and struggle
to form the shape of this present, everlasting.

Sunday, April 25

It's in my head.
Five years ago or so I remember this dream. But I just remembered it yesterday.
Is this deja vu?
You pass a sign and put on your sunglasses and turn to look at a face you didn't know before
but now do well enough to know that it was the same person in the dream.
Trepidation's been swirling around in the air caught with shame, but you're having fun
even though you know a year from now you'll regard it as you did before.
Dirty. Stupid. Wrong.

Does it matter? It's not right or evil or wrong or good. It just is. It's there, busy being, while you're busy assigning it a meaning. And that's my problem. You leave and stay gone so repetitively but then you come back in and rearrange me to your liking.
And I never fight it.
I'm going to blink my eyes and you'll be back on your shelf
in the back of my mind where you really belong.
I don't live to see you smile anymore.
I'm not holding on to your way of life hoping you'll put me in your pocket.
I'm your fall back? You're nothing. I don't know you.

Tuesday, April 20

Sometimes it's just the comfort of being close even if it's alone.
You know? It's, um...you know a person and they know you
and it's existing together. At the same time.
That's all it is.

Wednesday, April 14

I quite like these days, actually.
I always use the same words on them, in the same order.
And they don't happen often.
But when they do there is a quiet certainty with which I walk.
I know I won't have to look into anyone's eyes or toggle which hand I gesture with
nor rearrange my body to best suit the situation.
Today it is simply yes and no, closed, wrapped up, divine and simple.

Thursday, March 4

Do you think we'd still talk? Like, really?

All out unbarred eyes open hearts aching lungs flimsily keeping up with the pace of our words under the sky on top of a car under a blanket hair splayed legs tensed the taste of an unspoken trust that's going to tie you to one another for all time a kind you will feel when you're old and broken and you've forgotten each others faces but not the feel of hands holding on the the other and it's the only thing keeping you from falling apart right now with a wall of words and colors to unleash upon the world but no way to do so and it hurts and you'd rather go swimming in the tunnel of a wave where the closest they could get was the beach but you could take him with you if you wanted because he does and would and it's time to go and it's gonna be another month or five but waiting is easy when you know it's real but then you're caught eating your cereal in your pj's and a mess and you know it's not anymore.

How? All that happened.
Just went away. Don't go to bed angry, just forget about it.

Tuesday, February 23

Drizzle, drop.
Honeysweet heavy.
Flesh to skin, rewind.
Bile back in throat.
Lunge and mesh,
Hot, thick. Tear, kill.
Enter: silk, end with sweat.
Run. Down with plunge,
veins alive, quick noise: Stop.
Whisper wind, muffled mouth.
Unleash. beating; release, heal.
Repeat til sore.

Friday, February 19

This time yesterday, on the other side of the clock,
it was strange.
The moon was supposed to be awake,
but the crickets were yelling and throwing things.
When you ride or run down this avenue, shadows follow.
I always said to bring matches.
The seconds tick and the moon bids you hello
at the proper time for once.
But the crickets won't stop and you fear them to jump in your ears and overtake your brain.
So stepping down the sidewalk becomes delicate business, and no one's watching,
in case you fall and break the road.
Still, at this hour, you will risk the abyss
opening under you; and you tiptoe faster.
She's a crescent now, but graciously still gifting light.
She gives so much.
The insects now ride on my shoes and my shoulders.
They're afraid too.
The dirt road throws pebbles at my head,
and ducking makes running difficult.
It's dark, and it's late,
and now the crickets have been replaced by moths, the useless things.
All flutter, no flight.